Feelings Unexplained

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Crushing bones
wailing soul
my heart breaks into a million stones

The world seems out of reach
distant
and incomplete

Deafening silence
beats
stricken death

Winter sets
the coldness
paralyzes

Time ticks
my senses stop
I can’t feel my heart

Alive
dead
which way does it end?

Christmas lights
the absence of color
the memory no more

Holiday cheer
sadness appears
the joy the pain

Make it go away…

My Everything

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I feel what I can’t see
I see what I can’t feel
All my emotions form in one tear

The pain from inside swells
My outside washes it away
And I’m left holding your memory

There is so much I don’t know
But I know
So much I can’t show
But I see
You tease I don’t know everything about you
But I do
I know your soul
I know you know

Your image consumes me
Your smile warms me
Your eyes lose me
I’m not the same

Tears roll
One by one
Faster and faster
I miss your laugh

Seconds in
I realize
I miss it all
I miss everything there is
I miss every little thing that makes you you

The falling tears reminding me
What you truly mean
To me
To my soul
You are
My everything

The Nightmares that Linger

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I fear my breath
You still linger
The aftertaste tingles
My taste buds bleed

Your heartless decay blackens the room
The heaviness of rot
I can’t breathe these toxins
Open a window, please I beg, “just leave!”

Let the fresh air in
Let the breeze purify
Let there be new life
Let me live without your everlasting interference

Why must you be here?
Why must you hold on?
Why must you spread poison?
Why must you stay where you are no longer wanted, or needed?

Aw the beauty of the past
It is not always a fair sight
Your memories trying to desperately come to life
They are nightmares of others
They are nightmares of mine

To Remind Me of You

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A haze of shooting stars
Shimmer across the sky
Lace together letters
Making words
Describing you and I

Destined to remain
Thousands and thousands of years unknown
Lovers of the abyss
Makers of the galaxy
Our souls scatter the universe

On cloudy nights
Or rain stricken evenings
Or when the moon sleeps
I am lost
Without the sight of you

I search desperately through the darkness
Hoping to catch a glimpse
A lighted sky
Anything
To remind me of you

Nothing Before You

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I don’t want to think of who came before me
I don’t want the images to be seen
Running around free
Terrorizing the beauty of now
The enchanted memory
Of you and me
The jealousy is not green
It’s muddy
It’s thin
It’s dirty
It walks across my chest
It’s my heart’s bereavement
These were small chapters of your life
Ugh, I know
For I am destined to complete the book
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All my previous chapters are erased
Gutted in its entirety
For they don’t exist
For nothing has mattered
Nothing
Nothing I swear
Nothing before you

The Crow

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Gawking above
Circling around
I witness
A few crumbs falling to the ground

The gentleman’s plate is full
Specks of morsels fall
Quickly I must dive
To survive

“Is that all you can spare?”
I gawk louder
Starved and in despair
I eagerly swallow

Mysteriously disguised
Love spares few
I
The crow
Am left to die

The Illusion of Reality

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Perhaps my reality is actually an illusion that I live and breathe
Maybe I don’t really dance across puffy white clouds
Perhaps it is nothing more than conjured up dreams
Perhaps I’m more dead than alive
In this little hell
A fairytale of make-believe

For what I thought was real
Now feels fake
For what I thought was truth
Now seems a lie

Have I disillusioned my mind?
Projecting my hearts desire,
Brainwashing my spirit through a maze of wishes

My mind lies warped
A melted spread of taffy
My heart
Lies in eroded defeat

There is no candy
There is no love
There is no happiness
There is just emptiness

It is all just a game
It is all for sport
A twisted game
A royal laugh

“Who wins”?
I shout, from what remains of me
For I have lost
There is little left
And I’d like to see who claims victory

As I return to meet my maker
To accept my defeat
Hoping to see a new journey
One of a true reality